Sunday, September 16, 2012

The fever and the fear...

This weekend was long...and miserable :@( On Friday daycare called saying Avie had a fever. Boo. Last week she had her shots including her first MMR so we assumed that it was the 8-10 day fever that comes along with it. We made her as comfy as we could and hunkered down for the evening. To say she (and we) didn't sleep well would be an understatement. Luckily our pediatrician's office is open on Saturdays.

He assumed that it was just the MMR shot also but when he looked in her throat (a HUGE undertaking considering she remembered what happened last week) he used the words "red" and "pustules". Fun. Her culture was negative for strep meaning it was a virus so we got the oh-so-fun recommendation to "wait it out" and "keep her comfortable".

For those of you new to the blog let me fill you in on something. I panic when my kids are sick - like borderline inconsolable-pacing-the-house kind of panic. Hearing the pediatrician tell me to wait it out when my kid is rocking a fever of 103 scares the crap out of me. It doesn't help that I can count on one hand the number of times Mackenzie has had a fever - in 12 months Avery has blown that number out of the water! It goes without saying (but I'll say it anyway) that losing Jack contributed SIGNIFICANTLY to my fear. I panic at the thought of missing another literally makes my blood run cold...but I'm getting better. I mean - I still hovered but not once did I have the urge to take her to the ER. (Been there done that several times already!!) That's a huge step for me.

Something the pediatrician said made me stop and think. He commended me on my good instincts. I didn't think about it until I was driving home. 13 months ago I didn't even know Avery - now I know her well enough to have motherly instincts. I know what makes her tick, her favorite foods, her fears (squirrels). I know that when she brings me the remote and says "MMmmmma" she wants to watch Doc McStuffins. To be totally honest when we started the adoption process a small part of me was worried about how I would love "someone else's kid". It sounds silly now considering I would give my left arm for her but I think it's what makes people so scared of adoption...the fear of the unknown.

Tonight in our community group we talked about how fear can hold you back. So I looked up some verses.

Psalm 27:1 -
The Lord is my light and my salvation
whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the stronghold of my life—
of whom shall I be afraid?
Isaiah 41:1 -
So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

What's fear holding you back from???


  1. Oh Jeny- fear is one of my biggest strongholds as well. It's been a strong hold my whole life, also exasherbated by the loss of a loved one (Mom). I'm so proud of you because I know how hard it is to overcome that and truly think throughout it And make a rational decision when all you want to do is give in to the fear, so to speak. And what a wonderful thing for your doctor to say! :) thank you for sharing those verses. I will surely make note of them. Here is one that I love (and consult when I'm feeling held back by fear). Joshua 1:9 - " Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous? Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." Miss you guys!

  2. Beautiful post Jeny! I have to pray about that question... I have fears but don't think they are holding me back from anything right now-- at least I don't think so. Hummm...

  3. Dara - I love that verse :@) Definitely a good one to remember. It's been a struggle but I feel like God is really using it to show me how much I have been held back by fear even before we lost Jack. Miss you too!!
    Kierstin - working on the post where I confess to what fear is hold me back from.

  4. So glad I found your blog. Very inspirational!

  5. Oh boy...hard question! Thanks for asking it though, because I do need to answer it!!

    I hope your sweet girl is feeling better now.

    Thanks for stopping by my blog. I am so happy I found yours. I am your newest follower.