Stressin'

Well, the formal application is completed, signed and ready to mail (along with the first of many checks with a scary number of zeros on it!). We are just working on the last piece of the puzzle, our personal statements of faith. Since we are adopting from a faith based agency they require a personally written statement explaining your walk with God, personal story and your general thoughts on Christianity and Jesus. Despite the calm reassurance from the nice lady at the adoption agency ("Don't lose sleep over it, just write what you feel like sharing.") I am still stressing more than I should about this.

Maybe it's the fact that this piece of paper will join our "permanent adoption file" and will be read by everyone that we deal with at the agency.
What if it sounds stupid?
What if my grammar is wrong?
What if they read it and say "Wow, these people have no clue what they're talking about-they certainly don't deserve a baby!"?

See what I mean? I have the feeling I am seriously overthinking this! I know that I need to let go because this is just the beginning of the questions and quite frankly the judging that we will have to face in the next few months. At first I was kind of offended that there will be a group of people who will be responsible for determining if we are fit to parent a stranger's child.

Then I started to think about it from the other side. What if I was a birth mom who had made the absolute most selfless decision in the world by giving my child to another family to be raised? Wouldn't I want to know that these people were capable, and moral and loving? While it doesn’t ease all of the anxieties, it does help to remember why all the questions are important.

We hope to have everything ready to be mailed tomorrow. Even though we know that God is calling us to adopt it is still scary and a little overwhelming to think of everything that will be happening in the months to come. Please continue to pray for us as we take this incredible step of faith.