So last night I finally put away all of the baby stuff that I had furiously washed and sorted over the last week (Thank you Naomi!). On the up side it is now all clean and organized and ready to be unpacked once we get The Call…again. On the down side, I had to put it away…and I was sad :@(
Not necessarily sad for this particular situation because I know in my heart that this wasn’t our baby and she is with her family where God wants her. More like sad for OUR baby. There is this ache now that I haven’t really felt yet in through this adoption process. It’s almost like it took realizing that this wasn’t our baby to make me miss OUR baby. The heart connection wasn’t really there until the baby part of it was real.
I don’t know if that makes any sense at all to any of you, but that’s the best way to describe it. It’s a little disappointing to be “back at the beginning” of the waiting game, and I know it brings us another step closer to the baby God is getting ready for us, but still…
In the meantime, we are working out a new budget strategy that I’m hoping will help us stock away some additional money each month. After MANY years of marriage and joint checking accounts DJ and I have FINALLY figured out that we manage money totally differently! Umm, duh! DJ is a big picture, long term planner – he works well with a large amount of cash in the account and being able to mentally calculate what has to come out of that amount. I however see it as extra money and proceed to spend it! I am however a micro-manager. I can budget out a week really well – and I work best with a small amount of money and the promise of putting any leftovers into the adoption account.
So we are parting ways….at least in the checking department. DJ will maintain the “big account” that will pay all of the “bills” and I will manage a smaller account that will get a set amount weekly and handle the weekly needs of the household. Fingers crossed that this will work!! I’m hoping that the challenge of staying on budget and doing something I really want with the fruits of my labor will motivate me to get my spending under control. Sadly, I feel I will be missing my beloved Target :@(
I’ll keep you guys post on that end. (If you hear nothing further, assume that it crashed and burned!)
Post again soon!
Let it shine
4 weeks ago