It's Complicated

Well, time to get you guys up to speed…I apologize for the long delay in getting this post up, but as I have said often as of late, It’s Complicated.

On July 5th we got a phone call from our Adoption Specialist…well, not a call…The Call. The feelings that I had were indescribable. (I wrote but not published some posts that I will get up here in the next couple days to share those first couple days) Excitement, nervousness and so much more. A meeting was scheduled for July 15th. Seriously, longest 10 days ever! We knew some about the birthparents but were looking forward to getting more information and getting to know them.

So that brings us up to today. You may have realized that today is July 15th. Yes, we met them today…and things did not go exactly as ideally imagined. When we got to the restaurant we were met by our adoption worker, Elizabeth and the pregnancy counselor who has been working with this mom for a couple months now. One of the first things that she shared with us was that the mom was/is not 100% committed to adoption. She is having a hard time coming to terms with adoption and the pregnancy counselor advised us it was ok to get excited, but not to get too excited. Not exactly what we were expecting/hoping for. While the birthmom is having a hard time with the idea of adoption, the birthfather is 100% on board.

The other thing that they shared with us is that she was in the hospital on Monday with contractions. They were able to stop the contractions and sent her home in the morning. Apparently is it highly unlikely that we will be making it to August 10th as originally thought. Yikes!

Lunch went pretty well. It was easy to tell that she was hesitant. We talked around the adoption a lot and you could tell when it came up that she was not comfortable discussing it. Twice the pregnancy counselor tried to bring up the hospital plan and both times the subject was changed without anything of substance being said. Overall though the conversation felt pretty comfortable other than the whole bit about avoiding the very reason that we were all there :@)

As we were leaving I shared a bit with the birthmom and feel like she appreciated that. I didn’t want her to leave with the impression that we were expecting her to give us her baby. It was very important to me that she knew we would respect her decision even if it didn’t involve us. I then proceeded to cry the entire way home.

So, where does that leave us???

We are in a weird spot…torn between being excited that someone has picked us and scared that they will change their minds. No matter what God is in control of this situation. God knows if this is the baby that we are meant to parent and when the time comes, we will know as well. God has us here for a reason. She picked us for a reason and while I hope and pray that it is because this is the baby that we are meant to parent, I also have to acknowledge that it may be that we are just meant for emotional support.

The good news about her going early is that we hopefully won’t have long to wait for the answer to that question…

Post again soon,
~Jeny