The One With All The Updates...

So I've been MIA for awhile. Summer was really busy for us with soccer for Duckie and working through all of the adoption stuff. Plus, there were a whole lot of emotions that I've just been avoiding...

So here's what you missed over the last couple few months:

• Duckie played an epic season of Summer Soccer - yes, it was indoor!
• We had a homestudy
• I made an epic new profile book - seriously WAY proud of this thing....and totally sick of looking at it...
• We became an official "Waiting Family"
• Little turned two...yes two!!
• Duckie started 2nd grade
• Duckie started soccer...again
• We started with a new church plant - really excited to share more details about this later!!!
• I took a new position at work

Whew!! Feel like there's more than that, but nothing stands out.

Adoption-wise, this time around has been more chill than Little's adoption wait. At first I thought it was because we've done it once before or that we're just busier this time around. But if I'm honest with myself, it might just be the fact that I'm just trying to avoid dealing with these adoption emotions....hence the reason for the stupid long absence from the blog. I've been trying not to think about the tiny little person that God is (hopefully) already knitting together. Trying not to worry about whether their mom is scared or lonely, whether she has support or is going this road on her own. Trying not to think about the broken circumstances around in her life that will lead her to the very difficult decision of adoption.

My concerns are different this time around....hopefully for the better. Last time it was all about us and whether we were ready and whether we would have to "wait too long" There is a part of me that feels so selfish for wanting this to happen again... Little's adoption was such a miracle in my eyes that I feel weird asking for another one. Don't get me wrong, I'm still totally asking for another one but maybe it's just in a different voice...

Post again soon,
~Jeny

Why Mother's Day Still Sucks ~ A post from my infertile heart...

I have the honor of waking up every morning to two precious little girls that have changed my world. Despite that fact, today was very difficult for me. I spent this morning's church service in the little lobby area reserved for crying babies. This morning it hosted a crying mommy.

Most of you know that we struggled with infertility for awhile both before and after the birth of our daughter, Mackenzie and struggled even more with the loss of our son, Jack. Understandably, Mother's Day was a huge struggle for me.

After we turned to adoption and brought home our daughter, Avery, you would think that my love/hate relationship with Mother's Day would have resolved itself. I mean, Mother's Day is a celebration of mothers and I'm a mother...right??? My head says yes; my heart screams no.

In addition to missing my son, I struggle this year with the thought of next year. Will we be celebrating another little one in the family or will we still be waiting? Even if we have had the honor of bringing another little one into our home, I know that my heart will break for their birthmother the same way my heart breaks for Avery's. Knowing the sacrifice and pain that she endures so that my wish and dream of mothering another little soul could come true is humbling to say the least.

Yes, I'm a mother, but I struggle with knowing that I can't bring new life into this world and I grieve over that fact. In order for me to welcome another baby into my home, another woman will find herself in an impossible situation with an impossible decision to make. I pray for her every day when I pray for Avery's birthmom. I pray that she knows that she is loved and that one day she will understand the depth of our gratitude for her decision.

Ours is not a perfect world, the brokenness that we all struggle with every day is a reminder of that. But even within that, its amazes me to see the ways that God has taken the brokenness in our life and the brokenness in other's and knit together a story more amazing that any story I could have written for myself. I am humbled and honored that God has allowed me to be a mother and I rest in the knowledge that His plan for me is perfectly His.

Post again soon,
~Jeny

Paper Chasin' (the act of collecting every solitary piece of paper that confirms your identity and proves you are physically, financially, emotionally and in every other capacity capable of raising a child)...

I don't know why this is taking us so long....
From what I remember, paper chasing was the longest step last time too (other than waiting). Either this is really heinous or we're just really bad at signing paper lol!!!

Hoping to have it done soon...

In the mean time we're having fun documenting life as it is now. Love these pics from our recent photo shoot with our dear friend Mike - and his wife Ann seriously made me sob with her amazing words. Hope on over and take a look at these awesome photos. Can you say profile pictures!?!?!

http://blog.mikebuoy.com/2013/05/orlando-adoption-photographer-pighetti-famil.html

Post again soon!!
~Jeny

Dreaming....

Last night I had my first adoption dream since we started the new adoption. I dreamt that we were being considered by an expectant mom who was also considering another family. It had a very "game-show" feel to it and I remember actively campaigning for our family. The bizzare part was that the family that was chosen would have to live in the expectant mom's house....which was haunted....and filled with lizards....

Hmmmm....I'm pretty sure there is something wrong with my brain.

On that note - here is the latest adoption update. We submitted our formal application which was approved and have moved on to the ginormus stack of pre-home study homework! I had forgotten how much of it there was! We are working our way through it but before you ask, because I know you want to, no - I have no idea how long it is going to take.

I'm still relatively calm about it, but I know at some point that will fall apart and I will become a blubbering bundle of nerves. Can't wait for that!! Mainly I'm just really excited. I can't wait to bring another little person into the house. Tiny little fingers and toes - just makes my heart melt.

Just.
Can't.
Wait...

Post again soon ~ Jeny

Notice anything different????

::Hint:: check out our adoption timeline ;-)

Deatils (and by details I mean obsessive details intersperesed with neurotic rambilings) to follow....

~Jeny

Created for Care Recap!

I've been putting off this post, partly because I don't think that there are enough words to cover everything that I experienced and partly because I'm tired of crying. Like seriously 3 straight days of it - I went through an entire cube of travel tissues. I don't know why I cry so much I just do...it's my gift I guess.

To go through everything that happened last weekend would probably be way too long here so I will try to just hit the highlights :)

We went up on Thursday which was a day early and I am SOOO glad that we did because it was great to have an extra day to relax. The resort was absolutely gorgeous (and really cold!!) and I got to spend some really sweet time Friday morning sitting on our little patio (in flannel pajamas and wrapped in a quilt) overlooking the lake and watching the sun rise. Friday night was check-in and our first main session which was amazing. Let me tell you - worshipping in a room with 450 mommas all with a heart for adoption was incredible....and we got to do it several times!!!

The breakout sessions on Saturday were amazing also. I did one on fundraising, marriage and haircare. I could probably write an entire post on each of these sessions. Another great experience was the date with God which I did Saturday morning. What a moving experience that was! God really used that experience to reassure me to rest in His calling for me. What was amazing moment it was to hear those same words repeated from stage the next morning and AGAIN in church this very morning!!!

Let me tell you, I am so incredibly blessed to be called to this ministry to support domestic adoptive families. Everyone that we talked to commented on the fact that there are just not enough resources and grants for domestic adoption and I totally agree - that's what started us on this journey in the first place. Can't wait to see what the next few months have in store for Called to Adopt!! :)

Post again soon!!
~Jeny

Created for Care

So excited about heading to the Created for Care retreat this coming weekend!! I've talked to several people who have gone and they said it is AMAZING!! I'm really looking forward to spending some time with other adoptive mommas and learning better how to serve other adoptive families.

The other awesome thing is that Called to Adopt will have an exhibitor table there. It's such a big step for "our little" organization!! I probably won't have any time to blog while I'm there, but I will be updating our facebook page www.facebook.com/calledtoadopt and trying to update twitter also @Called_to_adopt.

I'm also looking forward to meeting so many of the mommas that I've "met" through the blog-world. Post a comment if I should be looking for you!!
Post again soon!
~Jeny

The wrong path...

Sometimes you have to go down the wrong path to realize you're going in the wrong direction...

Our foster care classes have come to an abrupt end. After much discussion and prayer we have decided that foster care is not the direction that our family needs to be heading right now. There was a lot that went into this decision, but we are 100% confident in our decision.

That being said...

since we aren't done expanding our family...

We're adopting again!!

Well, my newsbox is now empty...post again soon!!
~Jeny :-)

Big Family News!!!

The next big step for our family happens tomorrow. We start our classes to become a certified foster care family!!! Excited doesn't even begin to cover it!!! We've been talking about our next step for a few months....well at least I have....DJ has kind of been listening. We'd said a couple different times that when it was time we would know what our next step was. Over the last couple months it's become pretty clear that we are being called to foster care to grow our family.

We talked to Mackenzie about it a few weeks ago and explained to her (in a 6-year-old appropriate discussion) that we were taking classes to become a foster family. She seems to understand and sounds super excited. Our biggest concern will be guarding her heart through this process becuase she has such a tender heart.

So excited to start this next chapter in our story!

Post again soon!
~Jeny

Camping!!!

We went camping this weekend - first time in a LOOOOOONG time. I think Mackenzie was still a baby the last time I camped. Mackenzie doesn't remember camping so the whole new experience for her. We got a tent for Chirstmas and we finally had a weekend to try it out. Luckily there are tons of campgrounds within a short drive of Central Florida. DJ went and got our campsite set up and I joined him with the girls after work on Friday.

Here's what I learned from our expereience:

1. People who say it doesn't get cold in Florida are lying
2. There are very few people raising their children with manners :(
3. A family of 4 can fit (if not comfortably) on a queen size air bed

Friday night was WAY colder than I expected and the night was VERY long! But we survived. Luckily we were close enough to home that I could run home Saturday morning and grab some more blankets (and take a shower :-) Luckily Saturday turned out to be a gorgeous day!! Saturday night was just about as cold but at least we got more sleep...until the kids joined us.

Mackenzie had a blast especially since she was joined on Saturday by a couple of her friends. Avery was less sure of camping but hopefully she will warm up to it the more we go. I think she'll like it better when it isn't quite so cold.

I love being able to pass down these traditions to my girls :-)

Post again soon!
~Jeny

Called to Adopt's Latest Fundraiser!!

Check out our latest fundraiser for Called to Adopt!! We designed 2 adoprable tiles using the Called to Adopt Logo. Email me at info(at)calledtoadopt(dot)org if you'd like to order.

Post-Christmas Picture Post

Nope - Haven't fallen off the face of the earth. Here's some of our Christmas celebrations. Promise to return to blogging soon. So much to share ;-)